MY NEW CRUSH!

just discovered this band over the weekend and i'm in love.


KOOKS

QUOTE OF A LIFETIME

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.

~ SAMUEL McCHORD CROTHERS

A LITTLE CATCHING UP TO DO!

i've been a little behind in posting some rather eagerly awaited pics.

perfect for a fridee post!

this is what 8 hours of general conference will do to a kid

poor jackson!

imagine my surprise when i walked out to my car yesterday morning

to see a new little "treasure" placed ever so conspicuously on the back of my dirty old man

only one person came to mind- INSTANTLY

dude- you are so going to get yours!!!

CALIFORNIA LOVE!

first off: shelby was only 5 months old when i first met her... now she is 9!

9 people- crap!

these kids are so so so AWESOME!

joining the webkinz craze on the left-coast!

lori and i soaking in the sun

okay fine- she was soaking in the sun while my body was busy rejecting it

i don't tan people... i freckle!

the rollerskating birthday party!

these two fantastic women took me to see

JERSEY BOYS

in san fransisco... LOVED IT!

a show about franki valli and the four seasons

is not complete without a milk-shake or two... or three... or well... you get the point

shelby and her pony deja- yes she has her own pony

i know- this actually happens to people in real life

they get a pony for their birthday!

mitch and pete- goofing off and chillaxin'
new doggie- likes to lick- yucky dog slobber
ahhhh--- yesssss-- my precious, precious jamba

MANUEL's TORTILLAS

winner of the best cup art award goes to:
none other than
MARIE!!!


winners of the best use of flour goes to:

three of the hottest girls i know!

winner of the best adaptation of a homemade tortilla goes to:

JULIE!!!

(are you supposed to be the elephant man???)

winner of the best balance on the BALL goes to:

MICHAEL

(an extra 10 points for great flare)

ME THE SHEEP

okay so i did it too- cause everyone else did it-- YES I WOULD JUMP!!!

ipod shuffle song = meaning in each category



opening credits: TURN ON ME- the shins
“adults just learn to play ridiculously repulsive games.”
please don't make me grow up!!!


waking up: RUN- snow patrol
“as if you have a choice”
i like sleepy


first day at school: E-BOW THE LETTER- r.e.m.
“all the boys and all the girls, sweet-toothed an each one a little scary”
school was scary for me... kids scared me


falling in love: ONE- u2
“one love, one life, when it's one need in the night one love we get to share it, leaves you baby if you don't care for it”
hmm... interesting


fight song: HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO- frou frou
“he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast and he's gotta be fresh from the fight”
i like my men to do the fighting for me!


the breakup: ROSIE'S LULLABY- norah jones
“the waves are crashing, but not making a sound”
breaking up does feel like this- they are the crashing waves in your head that no one else can hear.


prom: FEELIN' LOVE- paula cole
“you make me feel like splendor in the grass where we're rollin”
ahhh prom


life is ok: DUSK AND SUMMER- dashboard confessional
“she smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles”
this couldn't be more true- wanna see me at my happiest- take me some place special at dusk in the summertime.


mental breakdown: I DON'T FEEL LIKE DANCING- scissor sisters
“you think that i could muster up a little soft-shoe gentle sway”
you know i'm having a mental breakdown, when i don't feel like dancing!!


driving: I CAN'T STAND THE RAIN- tina turner
“i can't stand the rain against my window”
sing it tina- this is so true- i hate driving in the rain!!!


inner smile: WON'T LET YOU DOWN- keith urban
“you'll never wonder if i care, i'll always be there”
family and true friends are my inner smile- cheesy but true


flashback: DROWNING MAN- u2
“these winds and tides, this change of times”
any U2 is a total flashback for me!


getting back together: REASONS- earth, wind and fire
“reasons that we hear, reasons that we fear, that our feelings won't disappear”
um- this speaks for itself


wedding: ENTERLUDE- the killers
“outside the sun is shining, it seems like heaven ain't far away”
good stuff- my wedding already sounds like fun, no?


birth of a child: CINEMA PARADISO: NASTALGIA- ennio morricone (yo yo ma)
this song is just beautiful, as will be the day i have my first baby.


final battle: BULLET THE BLUE SKY- u2
“you plant a demon seed, you raise a flower of fire”
this song is definitely angry enough to be a final battle song!


death scene: MAYBE THIS TIME- ok go
“don't you think that maybe this time you were wrong”
i'm wrong all the time- it won't surprise me when i die- i'll be wrong about that too


funeral: CHRISTMASTIME IS HERE- sarah mclachlan
“oh that we could always see, such spirit through the year”
that's right people... i'm gonna stick around and be an annoying spirit... through the whole year!!

A FEW RAMBLINGS ABOUT FEAR


one of my most favorite quotes, from my most favorite of shakespeare's plays (measure for measure) goes a little something like this:

doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.

i am currently reading LIFE OF PI by YANN MARTEL and i just found this amazing passage, that seems to expound upon what good old bill was getting at in the first act of his play:

"i must say a word about fear. it's life's only true opponent. only fear can defeat life. it is a cleaver, treacherous adversary, how well i know. it has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. it goes for you weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. it begins in your mind, always. one moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. but disbelief is a poorly armed foot-soldier. doubt does away with it with little trouble. you become anxious. reason comes to do battle for you. you are reassured. reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. but, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. you feel yourself weakening, unwavering. your anxiety becomes dread.

"fear next turns to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on... every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. only your eyes work well. they always pay proper attention to fear.

"quickly you make rash decisions. you dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. there you've defeated yourself. fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you."


we already know that fear does not come from God, right?

"for God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (2 tim 1:7)

so then why all the fear? even when things seem right, is that not also God telling me something is wrong?

no... that's not how he speaks.

so then what of all this fear and doubt? sure i like to find the problem... okay, i've done that. i see the fear for what it is, i see how it affects my life, how it uses my pride as a shield, how it masks my true intentions. done. i know... but now what? how to change? how to win and conquer this gruesome creature?

yann continues with his solution:

"the matter is difficult to put into words... so you must fight hard to express it. you must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly forget the opponent who defeated you."

i've done this before. it works. most often, once spoken, you begin to see just how silly your fear really was... when it actually comes out of your mouth, the thoughts start to shrivel and you are left with a feeling of sheepish delight. it's gone. but probably not for good.

but why? why not for good, why does it always keep creeping back into my brain? well, that's because i forgot the person that will take it all away. i forgot that trust is the biggest element in this equation. i forgot that i am not supposed to be fighting this battle all on my own. that's why.

"peace i leave with you, my peace i give unto you: not as the world giveth, give i unto you. let your heart not be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (st john 14:27)

putting all of my trust in Him... ie- taking all of my fears to him and trusting that He will help me along the path, gives immediate peace. even if that means doing it 10 times in 5 minutes. the more i do it, the stronger i become. not because i as a human am strong, but because the strength is attached to my Savior. in tandem with Him, i fight off the demons and no longer succumb to fear. pretty soon, it starts to feel less like a battle every day and more like a silly nuisance that needs to be dealt with. and then altogether, it has no more power over you. all of a sudden, your biggest weakness has become your strength (ether 12:27).

not perfect at this yet, but getting there.

BOSTON, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MISSING!

so here i am in sunny CA... loving life... wearing flip flops... and having JAMBA JUICE!!! oh heavens alive, i almost started crying when in saw the small juice shop nestled in the strip mall between the party supply and the old navy.

boston, you really need to wake up and smell the citrus! there is nothing like the cool, refreshing delight of the RAZZMATAZZ! it's been my favorite for 7+ years and i don't deviate very often. i just don't get why there is NO PLACE in the greater boston area to get my frozen boyfriend!!! so as long as i am here, i will be eating one once a day for the next 5 days... i will probably turn orange... but i don't care...

HEAVEN LOOKS LIKE JAMBA!

more to come... after i finally get IN AND OUT for lunch!

CALIFORNIA LOVE!

(sorry for the cheesy video- i don't like the music video for this song-- but the song rocks and it's so fitting!)

YAY!

i'm off to california where it's sunny and my most favoritist people spoil me beyond belief.

YAY for the sunshine

YAY for the love

YAY for CALIFORNIA!

BYE BYE!