A NEW DEFINITION OF BRAVERY
bravery is looking at your mortality right in the face and deciding that if it's the Lord's will, you won't complain, even if it means leaving behind a wife you adore
bravery is knowing that your Heavenly Father loves you, even when your muscles are so weak and atrophied that you have to endure countless hours of painful rehab and therapy just to learn how feed yourself or walk again
bravery is saying "i love you" to a crying friend who is miles and miles away, so that she knows you are okay, even though there are lesions throughout your mouth and throat and it hurts to talk more than anything on this planet
bravery is seeing wisdom in trials such as these, because you know it is bringing your family closer to God... and if that's the only reason you needed to go through them... you would do it again.
bravery has been forever redefined for me by my dear friends scott morgan and his wife tammy.
when i first met this 6'2" burly yet jovial man, i was a young girl, just starting out my career as an actress. scott intimidated me at first. not only was he large in stature and had a booming charismatic voice... but his presence took you in and filled an entire room. when he laughed his face would turn red and the sound would resonate wherever we were (it always reminded me of the jolly green giant's laugh... and i would lovingly tell him this). the better i knew him, the more i loved being around him. scott brought things to life in such a unique way and taught me a lot.
the most important lesson he ever shared with me, was that of his journey back to God. never has some one's testimony been so beautiful yet powerful at the same time. he had spent most of his twenties and early thirties being a fun-loving, albeit rebellious guy. the world was his to command and explore. and explore he did.
then one day as he was performing as the ghost of christmas present in a production of "a christmas carol," like any other night, he was calling scrooge to repentance for his misdeeds. in that moment, he felt as though he were speaking to himself... as if someone else had taken over the job of talking. he knew it was time to find God again.
his story and testimony of that long journey back is so amazing, one only he could tell himself. but i remember the day he was telling me. we had just finished rehearsal on the show we were in together and he and i stayed late, talking. he said "i just kept praying that it didn't matter what i had in this life, or if i was ever going to get married or fall in love, it didn't matter. as long as i could be with Him again... it just didn't matter."
only one year passed before he was engaged to one of our dearest and sweetest friends tammy, who had been working at the theater for several years, in the office and the shows. she had known scott through his rebellion and loved him all the more for where he stood, some years later. to date, they remain one of the cutest couples i have ever met and they have enjoyed 7+ years of marriage.
just before calling scott, i had pondered on the things tammy had just told me. how scott had been severely ill since january. virus onto pneumonia onto bacteria onto virus. the horrible monster in his body nearly claiming his life several times over the last 4 months. how despite all of this, they were okay, he was okay and they had a testimony of our Father in Heaven's love, even more so today. she didn't lie to me either. she told me it had been hard. but in those hard moments there had been peace.
next was my conversation with scott. it was brief. his speech was not more than a mumble for the swelling in his mouth. he was weak and you could hear it over the phone. but he was happy to be talking to me. he told me he was better; two weeks prior he was ready to tell them to make funeral arrangements. then we talked about past shows we had been in and you could hear his old sparkle come back when he spoke of doing one show in particular again. this was such a humbling conversation to have. we talked about his family coming closer to God and recommitting and said that if that was his only purpose to this trial... he would do it all again. i began to cry and his sweet voice was so quiet and faint... "i love you."
as i hung up the phone and sat in my car for a time, i felt so blessed to have such amazing friends who not only talk about being servants of God, but who live it every day through their example. who, when faced with hardships, don't blame God or get mad at Him for their struggle... but who praise him for his mercy. who see the wisdom in all things. this is what being brave is.
15 years ago
