EVERY HEART BEATS TRUE FOR THE RED WHITE AND BLUE!

RED is for the color of the stage at the dress rehearsal for the boston pops;

for the color of kylee's tonsils that she took a picture of;

for twizzlers consumed whilst rocking out to john cougar mellancamp and playing "golf."

WHITE is for the color of my pants that got completely soaked through;

for the color of some of the ginormous and most amazing fireworks watched on the charles river;

for my teeth... i couldn't stop smiling the whole night!

BLUE is for the color of optimus prime that kicked the trash out of the decepticons;

for the color of the straw the rushed delicious diet coke to my body from an x-tra large sized cup;

for my soul because i had to leave before saying goodbye to dave and joe!

* i still maintain that the blue man group should have been the RED WHITE AND BLUE man group for the night.

* i would still canoe down the charles again even though my hands were RED from the paddles, my WHITE pants became see-through and my lips were BLUE from freezing to death.

i need to go to breakfast with amazing people again so that i can consume more of that RED strawberry jam, WHITE eggs and BLUEberry pancakes.

* i LOVE standing up in a crowd of people with my hand on my chest, singing our national anthem at the top of my lungs and looking at the amazing flag of RED, WHITE and BLUE.

HAPPY 4TH of JULY!

HAPPY ONETH OF JULY!



so when talking to people, typically when i am with people i don't know, i like to ask random questions to see how one answers them. my favorite question or rather, statement is:
"so tell me about... {long, purposeful pause for dramatic effect and humor} shoes."
this of course, takes them by surprise at first. but it is always very interesting to see how one answers the question. some people get flustered and caught up by such an outlandish request. others' eyes light up as they search through their brains for the best response. you really should try to do this when getting to know someone. it always makes for fun conversation.


i had theater friends from SLC in town this past weekend... dinner at the north end for some fantastic itlian food and mike's pastry, the cape, red sox game, salem... perfect perfect perfect! it made me miss my friends from back home. it also made me grateful that i live in such a fun place with so much to do. it also made me long to perform again; it's been a long time. it just might be time to get out on that stage again.


so which was worse: on the T on the way home from the red sox game we stopped at a stop, people got off and just as the doors were closing a woman with child in tow pushed their way through the crowds on the train screaming to let them out- only to have the doors shut in her face. she then grabs her child by the shoulders and yells out "YOU DID THIS... i told you to go toward the door but you didn't move. this is all your fault!" i was shocked. as was everyone else on the train. then, from behind me i hear two 20-somethings, loudly (so she could hear) expressing their disgust for this woman. how dare she talk to her daughter like that... no wonder so many kids are messed up these days... way to go mom, way to talk to your kid... yadda yadda. on they went like this for 5 minutes, no exaggeration. this very awkward tension spread through our entire train car as most of us tried to avert our eyes from either party and pray that the train would come to the next stop quickly!!! i was so tempted to turn around and say "okay you've made your point... be done!" but that just would have added to the tension. so, i am asking you... which one was worse? the mother who clearly needs to work on the way she expresses frustration and anger by not taking it out on others... especially her kids. or the overly-expressive 20-somethings who didn't know when to stop?


i've been watching my life start to makes sense and the pieces to the puzzle start coming together over that past few weeks. it's interesting to be in the middle of such confusion... unaware of the bigger picture and to continuously find yourself asking"why is THIS happening" and then with a little bit of patience, time and faith watch it all start to work it's way the Lord intended it to. i love that i am learning so much. i love that there are amazing people in my life to help me figure it out. i love that i have been blessed in ways i never would have thought possible.

the end

REPOSTED


in honor of the 92 degree 50% humidity day, i give unto you a repeat from last year.


ODE TO MY AIR CONDITION UNIT

there i lay, nice and cool
instead of lounging in a pool
of my sweat because it's hot
and cool myself, oh i cannot
so i turn you on to 6o degrees
and you send a rush straight to my knees
i let the cool air fall all around
and jump into bed with a bound
i am all smiles and a giggle too
cause i am not sweating in my own hot pool
i'll sleep well tonight and have no fear
it'll feel like winter all the year
as i drift i thank my lucky stars
because outside it's as hot as mars
and i am lucky that you're there all the time
to calm me, comfort me... so i won't whine
thank you, thank you-- i sing your praise
what would i do without you on these hot, hot days
never leave me, until the fall
then i guess i really won't need you at all
but i won't forget all the comfort you gave
my knight in shining metal... you are oh so brave
you are my AC, i'll forever be true
my heart i give... only to you.

MORE THAN JUST THE CRUMBS


so i have this really good friend.
this friend is a dude.
this dude has taught me a lot.



in the recent past i have spent more time with this dude and have begun to realize something that i haven't for a long while, maybe even my whole life.



dude is a good dude. he is gentle and kind. every time i am with dude he makes me feel so good about myself. he is very complimentary, tells me how much he appreciates me, how much he is glad that i was born (that's a direct quote). he opens my doors for me, makes sure i have water if i need it, makes me feel like i am being taken care of in every way. he doesn't do this because he has romantic feelings for me...because he doesn't and i don't for him. but time and time again he tells me that more men should just treat women this way, just because they are men and we are women.



so last night, after spending some good quality time with two of the best men on the planet, i realized that by just being with them, listening to the way they talk about me, the way they lift me up... i shouldn't accept any less from the men with whom i'm dating.



it's not that i have NEVER spent time with a guy who treats me like this, on the contrary. but lately, i have realized that i have been willing to accept the crumbs of would-be suitors in hopes that eventually they will give me the whole piece. and i find myself giving more of myself then they do of themselves and walk away feeling rather silly.



but when i am with men that make me feel like i am the most amazing thing, i have no desire for crumbs. i see my self worth in a whole new way. i see how it is to feel good about myself just by being with someone that truly cares about me and wants to take care of me. would that we all had dudes in our lives to help us remember these things in such a way. if you want to borrow mine, let me know and i'll hook it up.


ladies, i submit that we will feel better about who we are when we stop accepting the bear minimum from the men we wish to be in our lives. stop taking the crumbs and trying to somehow turn them into whole cakes. eventually, someone will come into our lives that just can't wait to give more than the crumbs... what a feast that will be!!!

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN


i have a severe fear that i always have poo poo breath.

if you ever smell poo poo on my breath, please kindly tell me.

but don't do it in front of a lot of people, that would be more embarrassing than the fact that apparently i eat poop for dinner.

that is all.

HALF BACK (not to be confused with the position in football)


okay so you knew i wouldn't be able to stay away for long... heck... i knew i wasn't going to stay away for long. just enough time to get my head on straight. but even though i'm back... don't expect much, a girl's gotta keep things in check. so i won't be around much, just enough to let out a little creative steam every now and then.


in honor of my return i would like to highlight a music group that you probably never heard of, yet you know all of their songs. ever heard of BREATHE??? me neither and then again i have heard

this:


oh my gosh her outfit makes me pee in my pants!



and this:

you HAVE to watch this ALL THE WAY THROUGH to see the ice cube... it's worth it.



what about this:

check out this girl's hat... are you kidding me???


i love the 80's... let's go back!

PRIORITIES


so this is the last post for me... at least for a time. it's been a fun year of telling my crazy anecdotes and sharing human weakness with y'all out there.

i've come to realize, in the past little while, that while i have grown a lot over the past year, i am still light-years away from being where i need to be. so i sat down and decided to re-prioritize some things in my life and unfortunately, my fun little creative outlet didn't make the cut.

this last year has meant so much to me... all of the heartache, the pain, the laughter, the craziness that is me. i feel like with each wave i have learned something new about myself and begun the arduous journey of learning how to change.

i have had my heart broken, my faith tested, my finances challenged, my trust in others questioned, disappointments one after the next and fears thrown in my face. i have also been lifted when i had nothing left, given peace when there was chaos, loved when i was unlovable, shared amazing moments never to be forgotten, laughter in every turn and light and understanding in my darkest day.

i can only pray that with this next year, you will find me even greater than i am. i will have learned how to let go of things that are hard to let go of, trusted even when my first instinct was to control, smiled when i felt like crying, served when i was too tired to go on and continued to make people laugh... which is what i do best.

and now, i will stop sounding like a cheesy church video and just turn off the light.