IF YOU DON'T READ THIS BLOG WITHIN 10 SECONDS...


okay so we've all gotten them. the forwards that everyone is so eager to pass along. some are witty, some have funny jokes and other have deep, philosophical and/or beautiful messages that can change the life of you, me and hey why stop there... how about the entire world.

i usually get sent one or two of these every few days. mostly by my loved ones and close friends and most of the time i trust that they will be filtered for content and message and that most of the cheesy ones will not be sent my way. i do have some friends that forward everything under the sun and i give them a break because i know they work behind a desk and have to stare at their computer all day long and that one can become addicted to internet fluff. i've been there... that's why i know.

but most of the time, i get messages that have meaning or are sometimes funny and they typically bring a ray of sunshine to my otherwise monotonous life. but i need help people, because there is one thing that i just don't get... and really don't care to understand.

WHY OH WHY do these simple little "shots of goodness" ALWAYS seem to end with something so stupid and melodramatic, such as:

"FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO AT LEAST 80 PEOPLE IN THE NEXT 60 SECONDS OR ELSE THE BOY/GIRL YOU LOVE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU BACK, YOU WILL CONTRACT THE BUBONIC PLAGUE AND YOUR TEETH WILL FOREVER BE A SHADE OF PURPLE."

or

"IF YOU FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO 6,000 PEOPLE THEN TURN 5 TIMES WHILE WEARING PINK THEN SOMETHING AMAZING WILL POP UP ON YOUR SCREEN."

and have you noticed that there always seems to be "someone" that "ACTUALLY TRIED THIS AND IT REALLY WORKS!!!" who are these people anyway and what were they smoking when they did it... because how in the world is your cute little iBook supposed to know that you completed your task and are now worthy to receive your "AMAZING PRIZE."

it makes me feel like i'm in the sixth grade again and someone just passed me a note that told me to "copy this letter 8 billion times and send it to all of my friends" then i was to take a separate piece of paper and write the names of all of the boys that i liked and list them from most like to least and put it under my pillow. the next day they were all supposed to be madly in love with me. but if i failed to do all necessary steps... i was never EVER getting married.

wait a minute... there was that one chain letter that i got from amber burton in the 7th grade that i never completed!!! NO WONDER! i've never been able to make the connection to why i am almost 30 and still single. CURSES YOU CHAIN LETTER... YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!!!