a note reagarding this post: i meant this to be sent out in small doses because it's so long, but blogger wouldn't let me copy and paste smaller portions of this story into another post. AND dummy blogger also wouldn't spell check it for me... so now you'll all be able to see what a poor speller i am! happy reading.
AN EPIC TALE OF A GIRL, HER TREASURE AND THE JOURNEY
it had been a whole year, and she could hardly believe it went as quickly as it did. time speeding by was indeed a blessing, as she looked over the rough terrain she had forged over in that preceeding year. she looked down at her calloused hands and the dirt in her hair. she was definitely not the soft, perfectly primped girl she had started out as. her muscles ached and she longed to be back home; the warm fire and the familiar sounds. but this was her choice, and she had wanted this journey more than she could say.
she could still remember the day she lost her most valuable treasure. the treasure she was so excited to have found. it was dear to her and she had kept it close. but in trying to keep it sacred she had sqeezed as tight as she could to hold on to it and it had slipped from her grasp and had fallen into the deep ravine. she watched it disappear into the blackness that fateful morning and her tears were hot and angry.
she had mourned for a time. questioning herself and her weakness and inability to hold on to things she really treasured. but she was not the type to give up. she was a fighter.
one clear morning she had decided that tears would not solve this problem and so she set out on her journey, to find her treasure. to reclaim what was so dear to her. little did she know that every part of who she was would be challenged beyond what, even she, thought she was capable of. but with a set jaw and a determined spirit, she began to walk down the path.
would it surprise you to know that she wasn't scared, although she probably should have been, she was firm in her faith and believed in her ability to wage every storm.
at first the path was not so rough. right, left, right, left... this was easy. a few rocks, a few divots in the road, but she could do this. her step quickened as with each one her confidence lifted. she knew her plan and had looked at the map several times. she had charted her course long before she had begun. each night she consulted her plan before she went to sleep. she felt good to be on this journey. she felt alive.
if i told you that her first big set back came as quite a shock, i would be understating her emotions that day. it had come out of nowhere. quicksand. her left foot caught hold of it first and it wasn't long before she was nearly swallowed up by the monsterous pit. she was trying to hold still, so as not to further her awful situation. many travelers passed by and asked her if she needed help. what a silly girl to tell them that she was fine, fake a smile and even make jokes about her predicament. it wasn't until the only thing visible was the tip of her nose that she finally told someone that she needed help. it came quickly you see, because that is usually what happens when one finally humbles themselves to ask for it.
the stick was being held out by a good friend. as the friend pulled her to safety, she chuckled to herself that she had not allowed help sooner. okay, lessoned learned. the friend stopped to have lunch with her. they laughed, reminisced and had a deep converstation about trials. this made her feel more rejuvinated. the quicksand certainly had taken a lot out of her. but knowing that she was loved by this dear friend, was enough to help her feel strong again. as the friend departed with a hug and a smile, they handed her a pouch with some gold coins.
"you never know" they said with a wink and closed her fingers around the small, purple bag.
she was sincerely grateful. the help out of the sand was plenty, but this extra gift was more than she felt she deserved. she tucked the money safely in her coat pocket and headed down the path, one more time.
it wasn't long, however, before she felt the first of many large rain drops pound her head. she looked up. the clouds were thick and black. they made her shiver. this was definitely going to set her back. she hadn't taken many steps and already the road had become a river. this rain was the furious kind of rain, the kind that is unforgiving if you've forgotten to bring an umbrella with you; and she most certainly did not have an umbrella. the current in the road became so strong that it pulled her downward and carried her along the path in its rage. she shouted out for help, but the rain was so loud no one could hear. she tried to grab hold of a tree branch but with each attempt, fell short. the road now emerged with a river and now she was rushing fast toward the unknown. she was terrified.
thud! she slammed into something hard and hit her head. feeling her body being lifted out of the water she quickly looked around to investigate the source of her liberation. her confusion was not lessened when she finally focused on the man's face sitting across from her. she had never seen him in her life and something told her she didn't really want to know him. she looked around, trying to make sense of what had just happened. she was in the middle of a small fishing boat that looked as though it would collapse and throw her back into the water at any time. the man sitting across from her offered her an umbrella and smiled a toothless smile. hesitantly, she took it from him and said a shy thank you. even though he was being helpful, something told her not to trust him.
i know what you are thinking, why didn't she just get out of the boat? i was thinking that too, but the thing is, sometimes we choose to ignore our gut instincts because we feel they are silly or dramatic. and that's exactly what she did.
the man talked to her for hours. she sat quietly listening. he told her about the world, how she could have it all; with her looks and talent, why the world would scoop her up and make her queen of them all. he told her he could take her there; introduce her to the world. after a time, his flattering words became like silver threads attaching themselves to her heart and leading her toward him. by now her fear of him had vanished and she began to find confindence in his smirk. all thoughts of her treasure were out of her mind and she could only think of one thing. how wonderful she was. after all, this man had said so many marvelous things about who she was and he seemed like the authority on the subject.
the night had come without her realizing it and the rain had finally stopped. as the old man rowed them to shore, she made up her mind. she would abandon her journey (at least for a little while) and follow this man to meet the world. "think of all the wonderful things that will happen to me." she thought to herself.
they found a tree and decided it would be better to camp there that night and get a fresh start in the morning. using her pack as a pillow and her now dry coat as a blanket she quickly fell asleep.
her treasure? there it was, sitting in front of her. she could hardly believe her eyes. how did it get here? she almost didn't dare to pick it up for fear it was all a dream. she reached out slowly and took hold of it. it felt so good to be reunited with her truest and most beloved treasure. she held it close. happiness filled her heart and she smiled bigger than she had in such a long time. now she could go home and get some rest and live happily ever after. but wait. slowly it started to feel very cold. confused she opened her hands and watched as it became slippery and began oozing through her fingers. she was confused. what's happening? "why are you doing this" she screamed out. "don't go, i've just found you." but it did not listen. it slowly slipped from her embrace once again and this time she did not have the control to tighten her grasp around it and even if she had tried, she would have failed, for it was not to be held at this time. tears began streaming from her eyes as she looked at her empty hands. she felt so cold. so empty and confused. the cold began to cut through her. her arms encircled her as she tried to warm herself. but now her heart and her body were freezing.
and in an instant she was awake. it took a minute for her to fully come to. the pink glow in the sky indicated that it was morning. so cold, why was she so cold? then, as reality struck her heart, she realized that she did not have her pack as a pillow and her coat as a blanket any longer. she sat up and looked around. just as she feared, she was alone. very alone and without her pack. slowly she made a list of all the things she no longer possessed. food. matches. the gold coins. the map. THE MAP?? oh no, not the map.
she shot up and looked around. where was she? between the flood, the river and being in that boat for who knows how long, she was really off coarse. why hadn't she paid attention to where the man was taking them? she panicked and started running. trees, bushes, rivers, she passed by each unfamiliar landmark and with each step her fear increased. after a time, she slowed down. the woods were so thick that she couldn't even see the sky. walking felt unproductive. how would she even know if she wasn't just walking in circles. everything looks the same in the forest.
she stopped in front of a large tree, tired and dejected. "what a fool i was to trust that stupid old man. i should have known better. i should have trusted my heart."
"you are a fool." something hissed in her ear and before she knew it, it had slithered around her ankle and tightened it's grip. "you are ugly." another hissed in her ear and tightened around her waist. she had no time to look around, in mere seconds, several vines had slithered up to her, mocked her and then grabbed hold of some part of her. she was trapped by very strong cords that pulled her into itself.
"you are worthless," "you are ridiculous," "you are annoying." each word was slicing through her, tearing her down. over and over they scorned her. they repeated themselves. even though they were whispering, the voices were so loud she could no longer hear herself. every once in a while she tried to free herself from the constraint, but her strength was not sufficient to loosen the hold.
for days she was there, being beaten by the taunting. "you are fat," "you are stupid," "you are unlovable." over and over and over the voices continued their horrid refrain. just as she was going to give up all hope of freedom she spied a small old woman, hunched over a berry bush. she was quick at work, collecting the fruit.
"help." she barely squeaked out. "help me... please." the old woman stopped her work, straightened herself and cocked her head toward the sound. "excuse me... over here. can you please help me?" the old woman finally focused on her, took one look at her situation and rolled her eyes with a look of disdain.
"you've been listenin' to em 'avent you?" she sqawked, hands on her hips.
"i'm sorry?" she tried to yell over the hissing. "i don't understand... can you please help me?" the old woman rolled her eyes again and took a few steps closer.
"hate to break it to you sweet'art, but there's nothin' i can do for you. as long as you're willin' to listen to 'em nasty buggers, you'll be there for a lifetime. ain't nothin' me or anyone else can do to free you. and as long as you are listenin' to em, you'll be stuck 'ere, not moving forward, not gettin' on with yourself." and with that she grabbed her basket and disappeared into the dark wood.
so that's it, huh? i'm not supposed to listen to you? at this point she was so tied down that she could only move her eyes to look around. it was harder than she thought. although the voices were whispered hisses, she had allowed them to become shouts inside her head. they had taken over everything. she was there for many more days as she tried to shut her eyes and focus on not hearing the sound of the nasty words. after she was there for what seemed like a lifetime, she yelled out... "STOP... just stop... i don't know how to make you stop. i don't know how to not listen to you." she relaxed her head back and started to cry. she felt powerless. the voices seemed so much stronger now. their words were more poisonous and seemed even more harsh.
"you are fake," "people hate you," "you are disgusting."
"NO I'M NOT!" she shouted back, finally angry enough to retort. as she did this, she felt one of the vines loosen it's grip and recoil. she perked up. so that's the answer is it? it's not enough to just try and block them out. i have to fight back.
"I AM BEAUTIFUL!" "I AM SMART" "I AM WORTH MORE THAN GOLD" she screamed out as loud as she could. with each positive word, she felt the strength of the vines diminish. she continued on and felt herself being freed from them. the voices dissapated. and more quickly than she expected, she was free. it made her so happy that she began running. she didn't know where she was going, but running felt so good.
she ran for a few miles and then began to look around. immediately she felt disheartend. the realization that she had no clue how to get out of this forest or where she was for that matter, smacked her in the face. once again her run slowed to a walk. she felt heavy and tired. she had been through so much and it wasn't over. not even close. her frustration turned to fear and then to tears. her sobbing made her even more tired and she finally let go of all her strength and collapsed into the dirt.
"i just can't go on," she thought. "i am so tired. i have no clue where i am or if i am any closer to my treausure. what if my treasure doesn't want to be found? what if my treasure has found a new home to be happy in? why am i doing this? i could be home and safe and despite my loss, i could have found a way to get by." finally, she cried herself to sleep.
i am here to tell you that while she was asleep, she had a dream that her father came to her. he showed her the way out of the forest. told her he loved her. told her that her journey was not in vain. he made her feel strong again. he reminded her that she was his daughter and just for that, she was noble. he made her promise to remember him often. then he hugged her and sent her off with a kiss.
when she woke up, she stood up, dusted herself off and did her best to remember the things her father had told her. she no longer felt alone. she had just forgotten that she had great parents who loved her so much. they knew how much her treasure meant to her. they knew that if she took this journey, she would be faced with much peril, but they also knew how strong she was (even if she didn't) and they also knew the kind of person that she would become if she fought through these trials.
and wouldn't you agree? she has learned so much already.
as she stepped out of the forest and saw the sunshine for the first time in what felt like years, she took a deep breath in. she closed her eyes and turned her face to its rays. "thank you daddy. thank you for helping me back up, like you always do."
she continued walking down the path that seemed so clear now. determined, once again. right, left, right left... moving right along.
but don't get too cozy with the end of this story just yet. it isn't quite over. as she walked down this path, and followed the bend she came to a fork in the road. without a map and without knowledge of what faced her in either direction, she stood still.
would she let fear stand in her way this time? would she allow doubt to creep in and steal away all her desires to learn from this journey? would she give up on her desire to have her treasure back?
we don't know. this journey is yet to be finished. the thing is, she's a smart girl and she has the ability to learn from past mistakes and to trust her heart. she has a pure desire for her treasure. she understands that the road before her is not going to be easy. but she knows that no matter what she comes in contact with, she can get through it.
so back to those calloused hands and dirty hair. yep, they are hers. they took a whole year to get them that way. but she doesn't regret them. in fact if you ask her, she'll proudly show them off. because they mean so much more than their apperance. like i said earlier, she is a fighter. she will never give up. and no matter where the path that she chooses takes her, she knows she is surrounded by people who love her, she is guided by a loving father and that she will be so much more of a whole person when this journey is through.
so if you happen upon this scraggly girl and find her struggling along, lend her a hand and give her a hug and send her on her way. and as she continues on, say a small prayer for this unlikely heroine... she'll need every one.
13 years ago
3 comments:
Peg, fantastic...i think i know a few who can relate. i love you to death!
congrats julie- you made it to the end of my novel. i love you too~ thanks for your support and helping me get out of those nasty vines!
hey peg,
that was very well written. i hope that if you ever need anythng, you can always call out my name, and i'll be there for you, too!
Loves,
Amy Jo
Post a Comment