MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT...


so here i am, once again, wide awake at 4-something in the morning. this is my 3rd night in a row with this insomnia and i am not a happy camper. i went to bed at the respectable time of 10-ish and then proceeded to toss and turn and wake up in sweats and then get really cold and a headache... etc. i wondered if i was getting sick, which maybe that's what it is but then i started to wonder...

so i had major surgery a month and a half ago. for the pain i was given oxycodone. (i must admit i really liked the buzz) but for those that know me, taking any type of medicine has never been one of my "things." but because the pain outweighed any hesitancy, took it i did. fast forward a month from surgery and i was still in extreme amounts of pain- the doctors came to the conclusion that i had "nerve damage" near my ribs and said it could feel like broken ribs. well, i have never broken a rib- but if that's what it feels like- sheesh!

anyhoo- for the pain they quickly prescribed a pain medicine for the nerve damage and then more oxycodone... oh and a one week trip to my bed- where i wasn't supposed to move much so i could let the nerves heal. forced bed rest sucks rocks, by the way!

anyhoo- i finished my last dose of the oxycodone/neurontin cocktail last night- but even then i was surprised to find myself wide awake til around 5 am (ususally those meds put me WAY OUT).

so tonight as i silently suffered, i kept wondering if maybe just maybe- after being on narcotics for a month and a half, had me a little... well... addicted. so i quickly googled "what do withdrawals from narcotics fee l like" and came across a message board where a former sufferer gives their suggestions on how to lessen the affects of their symptoms. the list of symptoms looks a little something like...

+ overactive muscles- check!
+ restless leg syndrome- check!
+ diahrrea- thankfully no!
+ headache- check!
+ hot and cold flashes- double check!
+ trouble getting to or staying asleep- oh freak YES!

HOLY COW- I THINK I'm ADDICTED!!

the advice-giver goes on to say that the first 72 hours is the worst and then depending on the level of your addiction it depends on how long thereafter, you suffer. well thankfully i can say that on a scale of 1 - 10 i am probably a level 1 or 2 if i really am addicted- so hopefully that means by tomorrow or the next day i should be good to go-- right? RIGHT?? oh please bless that i will be good to go!

oh i just heard my niece's alarm clock go off- waking her up to get ready for school!!! i should try to get a few hours of sleep if i can- don't you think? or instead maybe i'll try to go find a dealer on the street and just get some relief!