I CAN DO IT ALL BY MYSELF... or not.


over the course of the past few weeks i have been lucky to be in conversation with some really good friends and for various reasons the following analogy keeps popping up. i feel this is a big HINT from the "other side" that it's a lesson i would do well to learn. the best part of this analogy is that it includes russell. for those that don't know russell... go HERE and bone up on all things adorable that russell is and does. as for the rest of you, read on.

the shoe:
russ must have been about 2.5 - 3 years of age and we were in a hurry this particular day to get his siblings from school. russell, being the trail-blazer* he is wanted to prove to the world that he could tie his very own shoes. this was a task he had never before attempted... nor been taught to do. at first i was frustrated, knowing how little time we had to continue his charade. but he was insistent and so i relented and patiently waited in the corner of the mud room to silently observe.

i watched as his still chubby little fingers grasped hold of the laces and mushed them around in an attempt to get them to stay. he did this for about 2 - 3 minutes. with each failed attempt he got a little more frustrated. finally, after his last and final go failed miserably and his emotions out of control he got angry, took the shoe off and chucked it across the room.

i stayed where i was, wondering what would happen next. in what seemed like a complete lesson carved out just for me, russell with all of the humility he possessed, looked up at me and FINALLY asked if i would help him tie his shoe. a request i was just aching* for him to ask me to help with. of course, i would be more than happy to help him... all he need do was ask.

this little story got me thinking-- well i guess STILL has me thinking many moons later. i think on my life, how i've been blessed with motivation to accomplish things, blessed with gumption to go for it, blessed with talents that shape me into who i am today. all of these things have made sure that i have had a life worth looking back on and being somewhat proud of. but i also look at how stubborn a girl i am at times. how i constantly insist on doing things on my own. how, most times, i am so prideful that i feel like i can tie my proverbial shoe without even knowing how.

the whole time, my Father in Heaven is just up there waiting patiently for me to get tired of my endless frustration that things aren't going together like i want them to, because i was never meant to do them on my own. he sits back, hoping that i ask him for help before i just give up altogether. and ALWAYS when i go to him he has 'smiled' and said "of course, i would be happy to help you."

i feel like this past year has been a crash course on letting not only Heavenly Father help me, but letting others help me where i otherwise wouldn't have been able to in the past. to be honest i have had such a hard time giving up my shoe- just letting go and trusting that there are others that will help. it's so scary sometimes. i can't stand being patient either. i just need to remember to harness my inner-russell and humbly ask for help when i need to.

i'll be back, i've got to go retrieve the latest shoe from the corner where i chucked it and ask for more help!