STEALER!


okay seriously don't judge me for this post. it's a bit of a confession and it's been making me laugh all night about it!

so i am what we call- pathetically and ridiculously poor. i quit my job to have major surgery and now no one will hire me... for anything. even the mall was a fruitless attempt! i have been so LUCKY to have family that have been doing their best to cover the bills i have (which are very few... i'm proud to add), but they can only give so much. i've hired myself out to family and friends and have cleaned and organized for a few stray dollar bills. but even then, the money to fill my tank and pay for things i really need, have left the purse strings a tiny bit too tight!

today i received my new phone (it was free with my "new every two" plan from verizon), which was a small light in my sad little tunnel of poorness, and i took it to the verizon store in the mall to have them transfer all my numbers from one to the other. the process took about 20 mins, so i took a stroll to window shop and salivate.

whilst at an unmentioned store i was plastered at the wall where the costumy-yet adorable jewelry perched before my greedy eyes. i imagined myself adorned in gold chains and bangles or wood bracelets and a gold belt... and then.

this thought just popped into my head.
"i wonder what would happen if i just put one of these necklaces into my purse and walked out."

startled by this thought (because it is definitely not one that i am accustomed to having) i started to actually think it through! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i thought it through?? have i gone completely insane?? but yes... i did. i looked at the coveted necklace, looked at my escape route... then... i shuddered.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT TWICE ABOU IT!!! HAHAHAHA! WHAT???

of course i didn't take the loot! i haven't gone insane just yet. but seriously, it rattled me just a tiny bit that i would chew on the idea for even as long as i did!

believe me when i say that i am not the law-breaking kind of gal (with the exception of speeding and sometimes thinking it's funny to run a stop sign at 2 am in a residential-- weird i know).

for instance: once upon a time i went on a date with a guy to a movie. when the first movie let out he looked at me and said "double feature?" first off, i didn't understand what he was really saying. i thought for sure he meant that we would go back downstairs, pick a new movie and buy two more tickets. but then as he walked up and down the hallways of the theater to look at the next movie's times... it donned on me that there was never an intention of paying for that second flick. so we chose a movie and found some seats in the back. i couldn't stop giggling (it's what i do when i'm nervous) and i'm sure i looked like a complete DUR to this guy as i couldn't stop giggling at what we were doing and asking lame questions like "well what if they come and ask to see our tickets" -- as if they ever do that!!-- i'm just not cut out for thievery or stealing or any of the like.

i mean i took literal offence when someone would choose my name for the song "who stole the cookie from the cookie jar" who me? NO WAY, IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ME-- TRY DOUG OR AMY JO!! she actually stole gum from shopko once- she's the girl you're after!

oh dear- i think instead of stealing i'm just going to resort to camping outside of temple square and playing the hymns on my nose for money.