PIG!

i have issues taking the last of anything! the last cereal in the box, the last of the ice cream, the last diet coke... and i have my siblings to thank for it!

i'm number 6 in a family of 8 kids. don't worry, it wasn't as bad as all that... 3 of the kids are separated by 11 years, so they were all grown and out of the house by the time i was old enough to know that i had to elbow my way through the world to get what i wanted.

in my family, you had to call what spot in the station wagon you wanted, you had to say "this is still my spot" whenever you got up from the couch to go to the bathroom and most importantly you were NEVER and i mean NEVER supposed to eat the LAST of anything!!!

it didn't matter if the child before you had just had 7 bowls of that same cereal, it didn't matter if you were barely able to fill 1/4 of the bowl you poured the cereal into or that you were eating the tiny shards of marshmallows and puffed wheat... that it looks more like sand from the beach than anything edible. if anyone saw you take the last you were immediately thrust into a category that i can only say sent me into a state of petrifaction every time i clutched a mostly-empty box of Cap'n Crunch (even if i was the only one eating out of that box)...

PIG!

it was the absolute worst thing you could be called in my home. it cut right to the soul. it caused us to clutch our bowls of cereal even tighter and with complete justification yell out a defensive retort that included a name that would rival the one that just got thrown at us.

it's because of this sad interaction at almost every meal, as an adult, i indulge myself with all sorts of cookies and candies and cereal that i was denied as a child, i buy them when i want to and no one can tell me otherwise... yet, there they are, on the top shelf of my pantry... the mostly-empty cereal boxes. they loom over me saying... "come on girl, eat us... no one will ever know... no one will see you eat the last... you know you want to."

and i just can't. the name echoes in my ears and fills me with fear.

please someone... help me overcome!