AFTER A LONG WEEK
life is good, funny, interesting, weird, scary, frustrating, challenging, exhilarating, happy... all of the above... and that was just this past week!
you know how there are those weeks where everything races by and you find yourself saying, "wow, i can't believe it's already friday!" and then there are those weeks, where every day is long and has too much in it and it feels like you've just lived for 14 years in one week?
yeah, well i just got back from my 14 year long travels and i am beat!
it's not that it was a bad or good week. i think there were enough ups and downs throughout the week that i wouldn't try to label it but so many interesting things happened and now i'm sitting here in my pile of newly acquired knowledge wondering what in the world i do with all of it.
for fear that i am speaking too abstractly, let me give you an example of one of the things that has been on my mind for the past few days.
how does one know when one is progressing in a way that is good or right? i've been reading the book, THE ALCHEMIST and in it the shepard boy is left to wonder if just being a shepard boy is good enough for his life. the man who comes to befriend the shepard and sends him on his life's journey, uses the local butcher as an example. the butcher is happy, well-to-do and life seems good for him, yet when that man was a boy he dreamed of traveling but decided to put off his travels a few years just to save some money. before long the butcher had settled in his life; all thoughts of traveling were distant dreams.
but what if just being a butcher or a shepard IS good enough??? how does one know if they have settled in life or if they are really fulfilling their purpose on this earth?
thankfully, i have faith in a Father in Heaven who not only loves me but also knows my plan and has a specific purpose for me. but this is where fear begins to settle in... how do i know for sure that i am filling the measure of my life?
does anyone else ever get scared that they have just settled in what they are doing and that there is so much more they could be doing but aren't? have any of you dreamed of places you'll never go because you are too caught up in the day to day to ever give it a shot? or you put too much priority on things that don't matter and end up distracted from the things of utmost importance?
sometimes i get scared that i will wake up one day and wonder what in the world i did with my life and if i ever made a difference. i worry that my weaknesses keep me from truly obtaining the things i want most. i try not to get too hard on myself when i make a mistake and i try even harder not to let others make me feel bad about those mistakes either... like the old adage says: we grow from our mistakes. and i do believe that. but sometimes those mistakes feel like i'm stuck in the mud rather than being momentum... and that's where it gets tricky!
i've been wondering lately if it's time for a move. not that i have any place specific in mind or that i really even want to move (i love boston and my life here) but what if it's just time for me to open a new door, a new chapter? what if it's time to wake myself up from the life that is so familiar to me and see what else is out there?
yeah, this is just one of the many things that has been on my mind lately.
life is good, funny, interesting, weird, scary, frustrating, challenging, exhilarating, happy... and that's just this past week!
14 years ago
0 comments:
Post a Comment