I BLEW UP MY FACE

okay so i know that it's been a month and i haven't written a thing. i promise you that life has been so busy and i haven't had much time at the computer to write something worth reading.

however, to make up for my absence, i will now tell you all a story that i hope will help you to forget that i have been a slacker. thanks to mary who gave me the idea to actually post this story... don't know why i never thought to share this most embarrassing story before.

the time was winter of 2005 and i had just completed a long trek across this nation of ours to move myself back to UTAH. i felt like the move was the right thing to do, but i was a) not happy about it and b) EVERYTHING had gone wrong from my car getting broken into a week into my new life... to not being able to find a "big people" job... to having the roommate from hell... to getting the FLU and STEP THROAT at the exact same time... to putting a nail through my thumb with a nail gun... yeah, i said everything... and that was just the short list.

the place was HALE CENTRE THEATRE in west valley city, ut where my wonderful friend andrew had given me a job as his personal assistant (he being the technical director there). i was running around doing odd jobs, helping to build sets and props and best of all was in charge of the pyrotechnics for the current show... CINDERELLA. you see, the fairy god-mother had to have a wand, and not just any wand... one that sparkles and makes a bright flash when she "used her magic." that's where i came in. because i had been there with andrew when we learned about the wand and was shown how to use it, clean it and care for it... i was put in charge.

every night, i was to test the wand (take it for a practice run), change out the coil (if need be) and get it ready for that night's performance. so that's what i did.

this particular night was just like any other. i was busy about changing the wand coil and had packed it solid with the appropriate amount of gun powder and extra sparkly, sparkle dust. the loaded wand was in my left hand... the same hand that had a huge splint on it because i had sent a nail into the heart of my thumb the week before and the JERK ER doctor had put this huge cast thingy on my thumb the size of andre the giant's middle finger.

so there i am, in the green room of the theater, with bum thumb in a monster splint and loaded wand when all of a sudden my phone rings... and like the dork that I am... i answer it.

"oh, hey rach... how's it going... blah blah blah"

in a blink of a second, really that's all it took for the wand to begin slipping from my grasp and without thinking readjust my grip, trigger the button to ignite the wand and

POOF... you are now a "pretty princess." actually, no... it was more like

BANG, GLITTER, SCREAM, DROP THE PHONE... in that order.

i guess this is what it must feel like to be in a battle (okay maybe not that dramatic, but still) where all of your senses go some place else and you are left numb and even though there has been trauma, you stand still and try to remember what to do next.

there i was, with my eyes covered, as at this point i was convinced that i had just lost my eyesight, and my first sense to recover was my sense of sound.

"PEGGY!!! PEGGY!" rachel's adorably shrill voice is screaming from somewhere on the floor.

Next... time for the moment of truth... i slowly take my hands away from my eyes and blink a few times.

I CAN SEE... I HAVE THE GIFT OF SIGHT... HOW GLORIOUS!!!

I then realize that rachel is still on the other end, panicked and worried, so i pick the phone up from off the floor and scream something at her that probably sounded like...

"I HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK" close phone and look around in a panic.

now what? what should i do... and then... sniff. hmmm... sniff, sniff... that smells like burnt... hair??? OH MY GOSH!

i race to the mirror of the green room and a tear begins to trickle down my cheek just as my hand raises to my forehead and a ball of brown, melted, mangled hair falls gently into it.

dudes, i looked like sinead o'connor.

as i continue to survey the damage, i realize just how lucky i really am seeing that i only suffered slight burns to my eyelids and a bit of my eyebrow is missing. no biggie. right? yeah that's actually BEFORE i tried to do my make-up that night and realized that i had NO EYELASHES to put mascara on!!!

I BEGAN TO SOB

WAAAAHHH!!! I HAVE A BUM THUMB AND NO EYELASHES... AND ALL OF A SUDDEN I HAVE THE URGE TO START SINGING...

"nothing compares.... no-thing compares... to youuuuu"

needless to say, i did recover. it only took about a month for my eyelashes to grow back, i played around with my hair so you couldn't see my bald spot in front... several months later, and after several stages the front of my hair went through, it finally DID grow back. and now i am much more appreciative of my bangs! (wow i have this scary feeling that i just sounded like a 14 year old bimbo saying that)

so there you go... i did the best with this story as i could, it being almost midnight. BUT i think it's safe to say that we all know the moral to this story... don't we?

ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FORREST FIRES!

yeah that was dumb... goodnight.