BOYS WILL BE BOYS


REGARDING EMOTIONS
ex 1- russell was two years old when one day his father came home early to take care of a few things, before jet-setting back to work. russ was ecstatic to see him and begged him to read him his bed-time stories for nap. his father agreed and then after two great books ran off to his place of employment. after waking up from his nap and going outside to play he saw that his father's car was no longer parked in front of the house anymore and began to cry. i, attempting to be sensitive to his feelings yet encouraging to talk about what he was feeling, asked him if he was sad about his father leaving. his response was immediate and firm "this isn't about daddy peggy."

ex 2- when russell or jamie have done something wrong, and they have to be scolded they get this defiant look on thier face that tells the one reprimanding them "i don't care if i'm in trouble right now." then they walk away to another room and begin to cry.

ex 3- russ hates pain with all of his heart, he freaks at the slightest sliver in his finger or spot of blood from a scrape... but the minute you try to help him or console him... he pushes you away and insists that he is OK and walks it off as if nothing happened to him.

OBSERVATION: for whatever reason, whether it's innate or a learned behavior, boys are not always true to their real feelings. they will not show what is really going on internally, because they are built to be tough! emotions should be kept "in check" at all times and to let someone in to help is a HUGE thing to ask them to do.



REGARDING COMPETITION
ex 1- jamie refuses to play ANYTHING unless it has an element of competition to it. if you ask him to color a picture (which is rare he would say "yes" to anyway) he has to make it a coloring contest. when we were in bar harbor, ME on our 17 mile bike ride, jamie always had to be first and it was a competition as to who would get to the top of each peak. it couldn't just be that we were enjoying the exercise and the scenery... he was out for BLOOD!

ex 2- i taught russell how to play the game WAR. yeah it's not that hard, you cut a deck of cards in half, and you each turn a card over, whichever is the highest card, wins both... and so on until someone dominates! russell has already become good at the art of trash talking! he's four and he's become annoying to play games with... the kid won't shut up! and it doesn't help that he has this bizarre LUCK and seems to end up with all of the ACE's at the beginning. he says stuff like "peggy, i'm sorry that you are getting lost" (translation: you are losing) OR "you won't have any cards soon, cause i am taking all of them." and on and on he goes... til he wins! then he gloats! i hate playing this game now.

OBSERVATION
boys are stinking too competitive!!! not everything has to be a competition and you don't have to RUB IT IN when you are winning. (no i'm not bitter about the fact that i keep losing to a 4 year old... i'm not... shut up)



REGARDING SOCIAL INTERACTIONS
ex 1- jamie would KILL me if he knew i was telling you this! but every thursday we take russell to the country club for his tennis lessons. jamie and anna go with and they do their homework while we wait for russ. there are these two bullies that are jamie's age and that just so happen to be friends and they have tennis the same time russell does. by the way i HATE these kids. every thursday, they come up with a new way of luring jamie so they can "pants" him in front of everyone. jamie hates it, and we have come up with game plans on how to counter-act what they are doing.

ex 2- russell HATES it when i make jokes with his friends. he get embarrassed if i sing in public places (not that i do it a ton... but occasionally). i am not allowed to stand out in anyway or to be nice. i must assume the dead, bored out of my mind facial expression and everything will be okay!

OBSERVATION
a mother (or in my case a nanny) is not allowed to be anything other than a person that picks them up from school and takes them home... according to how their friends view us.

AND

i could make the situation for jamie and the brat boys SO much worse if i were to meddle and so it takes EVERY ounce of self-control i have not to pick both of those slimy, snotty brats by their hair and kick them in the stomach for continuing to make jamie (the kid that is nice to everyone in his grade) look foolish in front of anyone. too bad their parents are some of the richest people i the country and probably have lawyers from hell!


REGARDING AFFECTION
ex 1- jamie is pretty tough and would never give off that he REALLY likes to snuggle. every once in a while, he will sidle up to me and before i know it, he's put my arm around his shoulders. he doesn't say anything, he just does it. and whenever i babysit for them at night and get on the couch to read a book... he's first in line to sprawl all over me and snuggle under the blanket.

ex 2- russell is a little bit more open about his physical attentions... as long as no one else is around. today, he and i were sitting on the couch talking and laughing and then he came and sat on my lap and i gave him a ton of "kissies" then we heard a door shut and he pulled away and said "peggy, someones going to see!" (there are a ton of workers here at the new house, finishing up all of the remodeling) i nearly fell over laughing.

OBSERVATION
all human beings LOVE physical attention... but boys... don't want anyone to know how much they love it! and most boys, won't do it when other people can see it! gotta maintain that manly exterior at all times!