TRAFFIC JAM
CAR NUMERO UNO (that's ONE in spanish)
one morning, i was driving to work and i was headed up this very narrow, (who am i kidding, all of the streets in somerville are narrow) two-way street that has cars parked on both sides and coming down that street, headed in the opposite direction was a big boat of a car... and they WERE TAKING UP THE WHOLE ROAD. as i got closer and closer to this big, beastly contraption i started to get worried because they were SO in the middle of this tiny street... and i had nowhere to go! my body clinched up as i prepared for the sides of our cars to scrape into each other. by this time, i was angry at the person... i began to complain, out loud, that this jerk was not giving me enough room... HOW SELFISH. i mean, i could clearly see that they had at least 3 feet of room they could be using and they weren't! as they finally got close enough i panicked and looked to my right to see where i could go to avoid the inevitable collision and noticed something that took me by surprise.
i too had quite a bit of room. focusing on the ACTUAL distance between the parked cars and my car i saw that most assuradly, i had room to move over myself. and for all i knew, that woman in the tug-boat was looking at me and wondering why i hadn't yet moved over so that she would have more room to scoot by.
CAR NUMBER DOS (two... spanish)
another car story happened yesterday, when i was pulling into a dunken donuts (love me those munchkins). the parking lot of this particular establishment is rather precarious in nature and has all sorts of awkward parking spaces to give anyone an ulcer. the lot was full, but not to worry, these D&D people know their business and get people through the line rather swiftly. needless to say, i was not waiting very long for someone to pull out. there he was, blue van man... he began slowly manuvering his work-van backward. WITH PLENTY OF ROOM TO MOVE... he stopped abruptly, put his car back in drive and moved forward so that he could readjust his steering and try again. i hate to admit that i was a little bugged that he did that, because he had so much room. but that did not compare to the amount of anger i began feeling as he did this 5 times... 5! i was getting so frustrated with him... i mean for real dude, i know the lot is a bit scary... but dude, you have so much more room than you think!!!
but that's when my thoughts took me back to tug-boat lady and i realized... one more time... that i wasn't being fair!
SURE, it's easy for me to sit back and judge blue-van man and tug-boat lady because i can clearly see their faults... i can see where they are off a little, or are missing the mark. i could EASILY see that blue van man had SO much room to get himself out but i can't guarantee that if i were the one behind the wheel of the big blue van, it wouldn't look the EXACT same to me, as it did to blue van man.
same with tug-boat lady... there i was, judging her ever so quickly for what she wasn't doing, in the meantime, i was doing exactly what i was berating her for doing... isn't that interesting???
so now, it begs the question, how to change? how does one stop themselves in the process of unfairly judging, take a step back and see where they need to change or try to look at the situation through the other persons' eyes?
just like the scripture in Matthew 7: 3-5 it reads:
"And why beholdest thou the a mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye."
yeah, i don't have the answers. that is what i am still searching for. i know i have the capability to change, guess it just feels like i'm a long way off. it's a practice that we are required to make perfect because Chtist-centered love is required of all of us. i just wonder if there is a short cut to being better at this... or if i will have to suffer through the proveribal traffic jam that is me! if anyone has any great insight... i would really appreciate it.
13 years ago
1 comments:
My comment is going to sound a little obvious but I believe it and have had the opportunity to put it into action many times recently in my life. Letting go-putting others first; it's as simple as that.
I think it is very easy to let people act upon us and much harder to choose not be acted upon.
Something I have learned from some incredible people is that I have no idea what someone is going through on any given day. I have but a window's view. I am limited in my perspection of the world and others. Because of this "limitation" I think there needs to be a "turned out" revolution in our hearts.
My Grandpa used to love to show his grandkids a spoon and tell us this story. If you take a metal spoon and look at your reflection on the inside of the spoon what do you see? (try it out). You are upside down. What happens when you look at yourself on the outside of the spoon? You are right side up. The lesson is simple- those that are turned out have their head on straight... ha ha..but you get the point.
A couple summers ago I was a Field Coordinator in California for EFY. I knew being in charge of a large number of kids, counselors, staff, etc. was going to be a challenge. So there is a motto I used: "Seek first to understand before being understood". Many times this meant I would assume I was wrong until I found out the truth..sometimes I was wrong...sometimes I wasn't. This reguired me to let go of my pride and put others first. I learned a great deal about myself that summer.
I don't know if any of what I wrote above could be considered a "short cut" or not, but I know they definately have helpe me in my life. I still have a long way to go, but I'm working on it. Thanks for the reminder to "be a little better."
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