IF I CAN LEARN TO LIKE RUNNING... I CAN DO ANYTHING!

so i've started running... wait... before you say "way to go" or "wow, good for you" don't. really, it's okay. i don't need it. i hate running and pretty much always have.

the other day i was driving down the charles river and i looked over and thought... this would be a great day to run. so i did. i threw my ipod on and ran like a mad-woman. it felt awesome. and i thought to myself: "i'm gonna do this again." even though i know how much i hate it. and so i have... done it again. and each time i think to myself... MAN I HATE THIS!!!

i have always liked exercise. i've been a dancer, cyclist, swimmer, hiker, skier... these are the sports which i could do all day long and never tire or get bored of. but running. running is: painful, hard on my joints, monotonous and just plain dumb.

wait! lest ye get your running shorts in a twist. i think it's marvelous that people can do it! like i've said before, i ALWAYS cry watching the boston marathon. it's just amazing to me that people can overcome so much adversity- in the terrain and their minds- and just run.

and this now brings me to the epiphany i had as i was running along the illustrious river today. i noticed how quickly i wanted to give up. the first mile was okay... i'm not totally out of shape... but then as i turned onto the mass ave. bridge, the shooting pain in my leg reminded me that my back is in serious need of an adjustment. my body began to tighten as did my lungs and calves and i thought... "why in the world am i doing this? this hurts. my face is a red fire engine (thanks to my scottish decent) i'm not enjoying this... whaa whaa whaa."

then something dawned on me. what if this is just like any other mental barrier? like those old horrible habits that we cling to that keep us making wrong choices. what if there is a point, where if i persevere, i could actually LIKE maybe even LOVE to run. but this is the test. to run- even when you hate it. even when you could think of 10,000 other things you could be doing with your time. and like all of those horrible habits that need to be tested to see if we change... maybe i just need to keep going... keeping looking forward.

so, even though my muscles were screaming at me, my hip bone done for the day, and my mind ready to buckle... i kept running. i did what anyone else would do... i made small goals. i would pick tree and commit to running... just to that tree. then once there, i would realize that i wasn't dead yet and could go just a little bit longer and pick another tree. ah... mind games... gotta love em. but they work. and this is why: looking too much at a BIG PICTURE will always feel daunting. focusing on the small things that we can control, feels just right and we KNOW we can at least do that little thing.

same with all of the other "stuff" i am working to overcome in my life. one tree at a time!



AND NOW FOR A RUNNING SUB-POST

things i thought to myself on my run today:

+ i wonder if those window washers up on that HUGE skyscraper get paid by the hour or by the window and what kind of health insurance do they have

+ this shot from under the longfellow bridge is chalk full of beautiful texture that would look amazing in b&w... note to self... bring a camera one day

+ look at that cute grandpa taking his grand baby for a walk... how sweet... either that or he is a kidnapper (STOP you horribly cynical, watch too much tv brain... it's not funny)

+ hey you dumb dude... the light turned green... stop staring at me in my ugly position trying to stretch out my hip bone and get on with it... show's over

+ that pile of dog poop (yes i just said dog poop) reminds me of that one time i took my friend doug's dog for a walk in chicago and forgot to bring a plastic bag to clean up after him and he pooped on someone's front walk and so he and i ran to the next street over before we got caught

+ i hate this

+ i wonder if that guy will give me a ride back to my car

+ oh look sailing! i wanna go sailing!!!

+ shoot... i forgot to plug the meter with quarters before i left. please bless i didn't get a ticket or worse... a boot... i don't think i've paid those cambridge tickets yet!!! drats! hopefully i can run faster than the meter lady in the tight blue pants.

+ speaking of parking tickets... remember utah? free parking lots? and street parking all for you... without worry.