THAT LAST LITTLE STITCH.


when one gets a deep cut- they typically go to the ER where they are given stitches. i know because i have had need of this treatment before.

over the last little while i have had a very different kind of cut. it ran extremely deep and was extremely painful. a few stitches were put into place immediately. over time more stitches were added and as with all cuts, it slowly began to heal. there was, however, that last remaining stitch to administer. one could point to several reasons why this last little part of my cut was never treated. but nevertheless, untreated it remained- for so so long.

most times i found it easy to over-look the ache that lived deep inside. other times it was the only thing i could feel. i was reminded, every so often, that this wound still existed- untreated. but a quick frown turned upside down and the world was manageable again!

then one day- the ache began to fester. i felt it low and soft at first; a gentle tugging, if you will. then as outside forces began to enter my world, the remaining wound became something i could no longer ignore. dreams haunted and the spirit prompted me and all of a sudden, i realized it was time.

ever so nervous and afraid, i took the final step. the most important one of the entire bunch and i put the last stitch in. at first it didn't seem to affect me much. there was peace... there still is. but the pain- more like sadness- has definitely crept its way to the surface. tears flow freely these days and i let them fall as often as i need. this is a long-endured cut and i know it will take many tears to wash away the final aches in their entirety.

but already, i am noticing the difference. i feel like i can move around in a way that seemed almost impossible just a few short months ago. i can feel the freedom from finally letting this wound heal- all the way.

yeah, maybe it would have been better to have stitched it all up from the start. heaven knows where i'd be today if i had had the courage to do it long ago. but these are lessons learned and who knows that i will ever get it right with such deep cuts... i'm no doctor.