CONFESSIONS OF A KIDNEY DONOR



this tuesday, november 11th, i will go into the hospital and give a body part to my little sister. only someone who has ever been in this position before can possibly know what kind of emotional roller-coaster it is. and let me tell you-- it's been quite a ride so far!

so i am using this post for two things: a) i want to promote awareness of live organ donation and b) i want to use this forum as a way to journal my thoughts and feelings about this experience-- these feelings that will pass with time, like they always do.

i think it's safe to say that right now, it being two days away, i'm more nervous than i have ever been in my entire life. i'm scared of the unknown-- unknown pain, unknown time-frame of recovery... all of it... frightening. then there's the small chance that something could go wrong... please bless that nothing goes wrong!!! let me tell you, signing a waiver that states that if something goes wrong in the surgery and i end up mentally retarded, my parents have the right to put me in a facility without my consent... ummm.... yeah... weird!! and to top it all off- the fear that this whole process is going to be a very lonely one. lying there, waiting for my body to heal, while the world gets on with itself. people happily bustling about while i'm stuck in my room watching forrest gump for the 18ooth time. i know i'm probably being dramatic and that my natural tendency is to picture the worst... but well... i didn't say i was perfect.


honestly though, the only thing that helps is the thought that i am saving someones quality of life. what an amazing gift to be able to give. and i'm so overwhelmingly excited because my little sister's kidney and mine were like twins in the pre-existence and match each other 100%-- how cool is that? this means that my kidney will LOVE living in her body and probably kick it there without any fuss for probably 50+ years. this also means that in the next few years, she will be able to do something she's wanted to do for so long... adopt a baby and be a mommy. it means that her body will let her keep up with the exhausting task of motherhood that right now, she would not be able to do. and this makes me feel so proud of my little kidney that is leaving my body in 48 hours. as a team, we will get to make her dreams come true-- i couldn't be more happy.

ever since i've been mature enough to understand why, i have put that i would like to be an organ donor on my driver's license. i look at my sister who is rather lucky to have a large family to ask for an organ, and wonder what would her life be like if none of us matched or said 'no.' she would sit on a list for a long time, waiting. dialysis is no picnic in the park... the ultimate killer of a fun, carefree life. she would be held prisoner to this machine that kept her alive... and if the organ never came, eventually her veins would give out, no longer allowing her to accept the help and her life would end. as dramatic as this scenario is, this is the story of so many people who wait day after day for the phone call telling them that they have a fighting chance of survival because someone out there cared enough to be a donor.

if you just don't feel like you know enough about it to say yes... go to this website and get educated:

http://www.donatelife.net/

but i promise you that there is no greater gift you could give a single person in this lifetime, then the gift of life.

well, i'm off. who knows when i will get the chance to write. i promise i will keep you posted on how it all goes! wish us luck!