THE WANDERER
when one is a single female with endless possibilities, as i am... one has many choices ahead of her, and no one telling her she can't do this or that. there is no compromising with a spouse about where to live, making the choice to stay put while my children go to that particular school because all of their friends are there and no house to worry about selling and all that jazz. in fact, where i choose to take myself has no real bearing on anyone but myself.
and i can handle that... for now.
i was on the phone with a friend yesterday telling him of my latest plans and what they entail and he laughingly called me "the wanderer." it took all of 2.5 seconds to step back, look at myself and realize that he was absolutely right. then it took me all of 2.5 seconds more to decide that i am proud to call myself that.
let's go back to the point that i am a single female. believe me, i have done my best to change that status but somehow the concept of getting married alludes me. regardless, it's something i still hope and wish for with all of my heart because frankly, i am done being single. but needless to say, i don't have a whole lot of control on when i find the man of my dreams and even if i did- if he has it in himself to commit and want to settle down with me.
so this leaves me with two choices. 1) find a place. get a job. get an apartment. hunker down. attend a single's ward til they kick me out. try to go to lame parties with hope. watch a lot of tv. wait for prine charming to drop from the sky. spend a lot of nights alone. OR 2) look for adventures. travel to new places. move to different cities. meet new friends. learn from different cultures. fill my loneliness with LIFE!
that last one there- yeah- that's what i have chosen to do. and i am pretty pleased with myself. because once i do find that man that decides he loves me more than any excuse he could come up with for not marrying me, i won't have one ounce of regret to point to. one moment where i wish i had done more. one shred of doubt that i did the right thing by leaving it all behind to be a wife and a mother.
so here's to my adventurous 2009! my plan is to move to st george (possibly). go to boston for a week at a time in feb, mar and apr. go to italy for the summer to teach theater. spend a few extra weeks exploring europe (spend my 30th birtday there). go back to boston for a visit. and finally-- a whole year and a half after making the decision to do so, move to LA!
one day i will look back and have so many incredible memories to remember. and one day i will get to include my own little family in on my adventures.
it's going to be a good life.
14 years ago
6 comments:
Wow, after reading this I kind of want to go with you! Is there a way I can become part of your family so I can have all this fun too? I love that you're grabbing life by the horns rather than sitting in the dung pile.
Thanks for your message btw- I KNEW I was right!!!
Wow - I love this post! I hope 2009 brings you lots of fun adventure, opportunity and most of all - JOY!
Good for you! You know, the only thing I wish I would have done before becoming a wife and mother is finish school. It's sad for my kids because I am the one staying at home teaching them...my education is lacking so I wish I would have done that! Good luck in your endeavors! Keep us posted too in all your fun!!! I miss you!
Wander away Peggy! You have done a beautiful job with life up to this point.
What a great post -- thanks Peggy! And loved your year-end post too.
Wow! This post was incredible and should be written somewhere for all single girls to read. I think we all feel the same as you and it really comes down to the choice of either despairing over what you dont have or celebrating what you do have! I read a quote once that made me feel better about not being married and raising kids at the same time as all of my friends..it says "For everything you have lost, you have gained something else. For everything you have gained, you have lost something else The choice is whether to regret or rejoice"
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