HONESTY


i cried myself to sleep last night. it was the first time i've done that in a while.

don't worry, life isn't horrible and i'm not generally sad.

i guess i just needed to get it all out-- i needed to mourn all the things hoped for and not seen. i needed to acknowledge that these past few months of laying and healing and waiting have been hard. i needed to cry.

i guess women need to do that more than men... so if you're a dude reading this- you might not understand.

it was also a good moment to have a real heart to heart with my father in heaven. i needed him to hear me say that i longed for things that i can't control. that i wished my imperfect nature were more perfect. that i needed him in my life more.

life is sometimes NOTHING we ever pictured or planned for ourselves. having hope that it can become anything we want it to, despite the challenges and set backs and sharp turns in the road is the only way the growth necessary to make it happen, is achieved.